Can't figure out what to do with cremated remains?: A review of Parting Stones

This is an honest review as a regular customer. I don't receive anything from Parting Stones.

When my dad was starting to really decline after a long battle with Parkinson's and we were talking with hospice, we had some difficult conversations as a family. My dad was clear he wanted cremation, but he didn't give much thought to what that actually meant practically.

My dad enjoyed playing golf when he was still able to get around, and he loved both baseball and football (yay to his Yankees and Cowboys who provided a lot of entertainment to him). Half joking, my sister and I came up with the idea of taking his ashes and leaving some on his favorite golf courses and stadiums, but he shut us down on that idea. My mom, who loves my dad to the moon, had no interest in his remains. Me, ever the practical and creative one, was like we have to do something....no one wanted to keep his remains in a box, and no one wanted to keep it on a mantle (just seemed not right for us).

My sister chose the hospice provider, and I was tasked with what to do after my dad passed away. One of the funeral and cremation places on the list hospice provided offered something I had never heard of before. Even going through one of the hardest parts of losing an awesome parent a little bit each day, I was intrigued. The company is called Parting Stone (Link) and they take cremated remains and turn them into stones.

Our Parting Stones

Making the Family Decision to Use Parting Stones

My mom was dubious and my sister was a bit creeped out at first, but she was open to learning more. As an environmental scientist by education and former business consultant, I immediately went into research and presentation mode. What was the process used, what was the output and of course how much did it cost? The sample stones that the cremation company had on display were just the smooth river rocks we all skipped across the water as kids. The stones on display were pretty white, but I was told everyone is different and some stones come back in different shades. I was hoping for a blue gray shade to match my dad's eyes and be more"natural" looking rocks. I was also hoping they looked natural and were different sizes. We often said my dad was a rock and he never let life wear him down. He was like a river rock... so strong and yet smoothed around the edges. ♥♥♥

What Parting Stones Options We Chose

The process was simple with only 2 decisions. First, we had to decide if we wanted to send all of my dad's remains or just a portion. Remains of an adult can be 40-80 stones. On one hand that seemed like A LOT of stones. We are not a large family so we didn't need a lot, but we still had the issue that we didn't really want to keep my dad's ashes hanging around. I was still hanging onto the idea I could take some of my dad to special golf courses without breaking any rules against leaving ashes. It would be just like those kindness rocks kids place all over the place. So we decided on making all of my dad's remains into parting stones.

Next, we had to decide if we wanted to have the cremation company send the remains directly or if we wanted to do it directly. There was no different in price so I felt it would be easier to have the cremation company handle it since they already had an established business relationship. Also, for me, I wanted to "see" my dad next as the stones and not the ashes so it was great they handled the transfer. We received the parting stones a little over 2 months after my dad passed away. I was nervous, but also excited to see if they turned out the blue gray I wanted. I will share his "true colors" at the end of the review.

Pros and Cons to Parting Stone for Cremated Remains

To be honest, the cost was the only "con." We paid $2,495 which was actually more than the cremation! But since my dad chose direct cremation with an informal family celebration of life to be held when all the grand-kids were around, the cremation and parting stones were less than a lot of other options.

On the pro side, we were guaranteed that my dad's remains WOULD NOT be mingled with others. Parting Stones has processes to make sure all my dad remained together which was weirdly important to me at the time. They also track EACH STEP of the process. I actually inquired a couple times since it took 2 months from when we sent him to when he was ready. I was concerned he would get lost somewhere. Each time I reached out, they responded super quickly with the exact phase of the process and what was next. They also offer a return to ash and money back guarantee if we were not happy with the results. While not key for us, you can also send cremated remains you may have had for years. Lastly, THEY ALSO CAN TAKE PET REMAINS!! I know I have several pets in different boxes. I am considering consolidating their remains and creating parting stones for them too. I bet then I will see different colors.

The Final Score - HIGHLY RECOMMEND!!!!

When I picked up the stones, they were in a lovely light colored wood box with a slide lid. The stones themselves were in a vacuum-sealed plastic bag inserted into a cloth bag that can be used to store the stones. For perspective, the vacuum-sealed package was about the size of a kid's lunch box. There were also a couple of single stone drawstring pouches. Lastly, there was a nice postcard saying the person who made the stones would love to hear back from us. All this is to say there were several nice touches that made me feel that my dad was taken care of with honor and respect.

I cut the vacuum-sealed bag open, and the first thing I noticed was the sound of the stones moving once the pressure of the bag was released. A good sign - they sounded JUST LIKE ROCKS. I don't know why I was surprised at the rock sound, but I was. As I pulled out a couple of stones, I was expecting some chalk dust. I mean, the rocks were made of ashes. But they were smooth and cool to the touch with no dust or chalk residue. They also looked completely natural from a size point of view. The largest rock still fit in the palm of my hand, and the smallest were around the same general size as a silver dollar.

My dad's remains did not turn out blue/gray. They were definitely quite white, but they are perfect because they part of are my dad - - who I miss intensely. The lady at the front desk of the cremation company said one lady had her grandkids paint several her husband's rocks. I was a great idea and I think my kids and I may paint some of my dad's with his favorite colors. Full disclosure - - I am still going to leave some at some awesome golf courses too! I think he would like it.

My dad's parting stones - - not a forever parting afterall

Keeping a part of my dad with me

If you chose cremation for your loved one, what did you do with the remains?

A lot of people are choosing cremation for a variety of reasons. For those who choose cremation and internment in a permanent location in Virginia, we offer memorial care services that include placement of silk flower arrangements and polishing of stone or bronze plaques. Check out what we do at Memorial Minders.