What to Do When Someone Dies: Finding the Right Cemetery and Burial Option for Your Family

Decisions made when a loved one passes are important, but help is available if you know what to ask.

When you’re grieving, the very thought of picking a cemetery and burial plot can feel overwhelming. You may be sharing decisions with siblings or friends—dividing calls, paperwork, and appointments—or you might be managing every detail on your own. Either way, you need compassionate clarity and simple steps. Below is a practical, caring roadmap drawn from our Peace of Mind Toolkit of Resources to help you choose a cemetery and plot that feels right today—and stands the test of time.

Consider who will visit and how often when considering a cemetery and plot location

1. Location & Accessibility

Why it matters: Loved ones visit most often in the early months—and years—after a funeral.

• Is the cemetery within easy driving distance of family and friends?

• Does public transportation or accessible parking exist?

• Does the setting hold meaning—a hometown church, family plot, or favorite park?

Tip: Map out potential drive times from key family locations so everyone can plan visits without extra stress.

2. Burial Options

Why it matters: Your choice here sets the tone and budget for everything that follows.

The cost implications vary greatly and there is no "right" option. Know your options and decide what works best for your family.

• Traditional in-ground burial vs. mausoleum entombment vs. cremation niche?

• Are single, double-depth, or family plots available?

• If you choose cremation with a columbarium niche, confirm that your urn dimensions match the cemetery’s specifications.

Tip: Ask for an itemized list of what’s included (plot, opening/closing, vault, marker-installation, perpetual care) and what costs extra.

3. Rules & Restrictions

Why it matters: You don’t want surprises when you go to place flowers or hang a personal memento.

Many non-corporate cemeterys don't have their Rules and Regulations online. Make sure to ask for a copy.

• What headstone sizes, materials, or designs are allowed?

• Are flags, wind chimes, solar lights, or other keepsakes permitted?

• What seasonal cleanup policies apply—will decorations be removed in winter or during spring maintenance?

Tip: Request a copy of the cemetery’s Rules & Regulations to review before you commit.

4. Grounds & Maintenance

Take a look around the cemetery. Are trashcans available or overflowing? Are decorations scattered?

Why it matters: A well-kept environment honors your loved one and eases future visits.

• Who is responsible for lawn care, marker upkeep, and general landscaping?

• Is there a perpetual care fund in place to guarantee maintenance long term?

• How does the cemetery notify you if the headstone needs repair or cleaning?

Tip: Visit on different days—weekdays vs. weekends—to see how active and maintained the grounds appear.

5. Costs & Payment

Why it matters: Costs can add up quickly; clear expectations prevent unwelcome surprises.

Keeping a checklist of costs is important to making sure you don't get expensive surprises.

• Typical U.S. range for in-ground burial with marker: $8,000–$20,000.

• Does the price include vault/grave liner, opening/closing fees, and perpetual care?

• Are payment plans or pre-need discounts available?

• What surcharges apply for weekends, holidays, stairs, or special handling (e.g., bariatric transfers)?

Tip: Use our cost worksheet to compare quotes line by line—plot fee, vault, headstone, installation, and care—so you can negotiate confidently.

6. Family Plot Planning

Why it matters: Securing adjacent spaces now can save money and heartache later.

Family plots are wider to accommodate multiple loved ones

• Are companion or family plots available nearby?

• Can you reserve extra plots at today’s rates?

• What is the refund or resale policy if your plans change?

Tip: Even if you’re making decisions only for your immediate need, ask about pre-need reservation services to protect future generations.

7. Long-Term Stability

Why it matters: You’re entrusting your loved one’s resting place to an organization—make sure it endures.

• How long has the cemetery been in operation?

• Who owns it—municipality, faith group, or private company?

• What financial safeguards (endowments, perpetual care funds) ensure ongoing upkeep?

Tip: Inquire whether the cemetery has ever changed ownership and how they handle such transitions.

Sometimes you can only pick from a small list, but if you have options, thinks through the plot considerations below

8. Plot Location Considerations

Feature	What to Watch For
Sun Exposure	Direct sun can fade colored markers; deep shade can foster moss on engravings.
Tree Proximity & Roots	Roots may shift stones over time; falling sap or debris can stain softer materials.
Drainage & Moisture	Poor drainage leads to leaning markers and biologic growth—look for puddles or bare patches.
Nearby Activity	Active burial sections mean machinery noise and temporary headstone removal during new interments.
Sprinkler Exposure	Frequent irrigation causes mineral buildup and uneven weathering on stones.
Foot Traffic & Paths	High-traffic areas are maintained more but risk accidental damage; quiet corners offer privacy.
View & Surroundings	A peaceful vista—a bench, statue, or mature tree—can make visits more comforting and reflective.

Tip: Walk the grounds at different times of day. Notice shade patterns, traffic levels, and whether the site feels as serene as you need.

Ready for Deeper Details?

This post highlights the essentials; our full “What to Do When Someone Dies: A Peace of Mind Toolkit of Resources” PDF includes:

• Printable decision checklists

• Budget worksheets and cost-comparison tables

• Top-10 questions worksheets

• Family plot reservation forms

Subscribe to the Memorial Minders Newsletter now, and we’ll send the complete PDF directly to your inbox—so you can plan with confidence, even in your hardest moments.

Download our FREE Toolkit

Let Memorial Minders help you navigate these decisions with compassion and care—so you can focus on honoring the memory of the one you love.