Everything You Need to Know Before Buying a Grave Marker or Headstone

Dianne DeRoze
7 days ago
14 min read

Choosing a grave or memorial marker is one of the most lasting—and often most expensive—decisions families make when honoring a loved one. In 2025, the average price for a single upright headstone will be between $1000 and $3000. The average price for a double upright headstone will be between $2,000 and $5,000. The cost can vary significantly with different monument sizes, stone types, and finishes. The best thing you can do is have a budget in mind BEFORE talking to anyone. There are a lot ways to make the memorial personal within a budget.

Unlike flowers or services, a marker endures for generations as both a tribute and a point of remembrance. With so many materials, sizes, finishes, and design options to consider, the process can feel overwhelming—especially when emotions are high. Taking time to explore these choices in advance not only helps ensure the final result truly reflects your loved one, but it also eases decision fatigue when speaking with vendors and avoids unexpected costs or delays.

This post walks through the different types of grave markers, including material choices, finishes, colors, and design elements, to help you make a thoughtful, informed decision. This is good reference if you are pre-planning your own memorial or if you are just trying to figure out how to get started.

How to find and select a grave marker provider

In most places, there are only a couple local companies specializing in grave markers and headstones. The funeral home you are working with will likely have a referral relationship with some or all of the local providers. In some instances you can purchase the headstone directly through them and the funeral home acts as the intermediary. The cemetery you select will also share providers who they they work with and who are familiar with their cemetery rules. In a pinch, a quick internet search for Monument Maker will pull up local providers and their reviews.

There are definitely reputable monument makers that provide more affordable products, and even Amazon now sells headstones. However, be cautious if you plan to order online. If the stone arrives damaged or gets damaged during installation, it can be difficult to resolve the issue because multiple parties are involved in the transaction. It's wise to ask the cemetery if they have had good experiences with any non-traditional providers if you choose to find someone independently who may not have worked with your selected cemetery before.

It's a good idea to figure out the basic design elements you want BEFORE picking a vendor. You can tweak things based on their feedback, but just like when you're buying a car, doing your homework first usually leads to a better result than letting the vendor steer the conversation.

Choosing a Grave Marker Vendor: What to Know, Ask and Expect BEFORE you Buy

Once you've narrowed down the type of grave marker you want, the next important step is selecting a reputable vendor. The right vendor not only helps you navigate the design and installation process—they also ensure the marker meets cemetery regulations, quality standards, and your family’s expectations.

Key Things to Look for in a Vendor:

Experience with cemetery regulations: A good vendor should be familiar with local cemetery requirements and help you avoid costly mistakes.
Customization capabilities: Ask to see a portfolio of past work, especially if you want a personalized or artistic design.
Clear communication and timeline: They should provide a detailed timeline and be transparent about shipping, production, and installation dates.
Warranty and durability guarantee: Quality markers should last for generations. Make sure materials and inscriptions are covered by a warranty.
Responsiveness: Especially if you're grieving or coordinating with others, you want a vendor who is clear, compassionate, and responsive.

Questions to Ask Before You Commit:

Who installs the foundation for the marker—your team or the cemetery?
Is the price I’m seeing inclusive of design, engraving, and installation?
Do you offer assistance with cemetery approvals or permit paperwork?
What options do I have for adding a second inscription later (for companion markers)?
How long does the full process typically take from design to installation?
Can I see a digital proof before the marker is produced?
Are there any fees I should expect down the line (e.g., setting fees, delivery, extra engraving)?
Do you offer pre-planning options or future add-ons like vases or custom symbols?

Companion Marker Consideration:

If you are purchasing a companion headstone (for spouses or partners), ask about the process for adding the second name later. Common options include:

Leaving a blank space for the future inscription.
Purchasing a marker with the shared last name and design elements in place now.
Pre-paying for future engraving or setting fees.

Make sure the vendor keeps records and guarantees future availability of matching materials, fonts, and layout to ensure consistency when the time comes.

Decision 1: Select a Marker Type

First things first! Make sure you know what is allowed at the cemetery or memorial garden. The funeral home, memorial maker or cemetery should be able to provide a quick list of what is allowed with regard to types and sizes of markers. There are 4 main types of marker options: Flat , Bevel, Slant, and Upright . There are others like memorial benches and personal columbarium placed on an individual plot, but the 4 discussed in detail below are the more standard options.

1. Flat Markers (Grass-Level)

flat grave marker — Example of a recently tended flat marker

Description: A flat stone or bronze plaque laid flush with the ground. Some cemeteries only allow flat markers.
Pros:
- Most cost-effective option
- Easy for cemetery maintenance without damaging marker
- Clean, minimal look
Cons:
- Less visibility from a distance
- Limited space for text or artwork
- Over time, grass, weeds, and mud can encroach, diminishing its honor.
  
  Military Marker overgrown with grass and weeds
  BEFORE Memorial Minders tended this Flat Marker

Consider this if you choose a Flat Marker
(1) Pay particular attention to the plot location. You want a flat a place as possible or to be on a higher spot to reduce moisture collecting around marker which encourages weeds
(2) Decide if you want a flower vase or flag holder, if allowable.

2. Bevel Markers (low-profile)

Bevel grave marker with flowers — Example of a recently cleaned bevel marker

Description: Entire marker typically 4-8 inches above the ground. Slightly raised at the back to create a sloped face.
Pros:
- Easier to read while standing
- Still relatively affordable and allows some design elements
- Easier to reset when cemetery needs to temporarily move markers to accommodate burials
Cons:
- Less visibility from a distance, especially in overgrown or crowded areas
- The gently sloped angle of the marker actually allows moisture and debris to settle on stone which can get into letter and may require more frequent cleaning

Consider this if you choose a Bevel Marker

(1) Ask if you can add a foundation so the marker is less likely to settle at an angle over time like the picture above. A foundation also reduces the chance algae forms along the sides and makes landscaping maintenance easier around marker

(2) Consider a fully polished front face to reduce change biologic materials will stain the stone over time.

Bevel grave marker before and after cleaning — Before and after cleaning of a bevel marker

3. Slant Markers (medium-profile)

Blank Slant Grave Marker — Slant Marker Example

Description: Cut with a sloped front face and a thicker base. Similar to the bevel marker in concept, but a larger stone cut a sharper angle.
Pros:
- Greater visibility
- More room for engraving
Cons:
- Higher cost than flat or bevel options
- Similar to Bevel Markers, the slope of the stone can allow for dirt and debris to settle and stain the stone over time.

Consider this if you choose a Slant Marker

(1) Consider adding a base using the same stone as the marker (in addition to the foundation) to keep the marker further from the ground.

(2) Consider a fully polished front face to reduce the amount of biologic materials staining the stone over time.

Slant grave marker before and after cleaning — Slant Marker - Before and After Cleaning by Memorial Minders

4. Upright Monuments (high-profile)

Upright grave marker with flowers on top — Upright headstone with sandblasted finish on sides

Description: Traditional headstones standing vertical on a base. Upright markers provide the most options around shape and engraving which can be both good an bad. Even simple upright monuments require a lot of decisions.
Pros:
- Classic and prominent
- Maximum customization for inscriptions, symbols and even pictures
Cons:
- More expensive
- May not be allowed in all cemetery sections

Consider this if you choose an Upright Monument

(1) If you can, walk through a cemetery and note what you like and don't like for ideas. Some shapes, stone options and finishes age very differently over time.

5. Benches and Personal Columbarium

memorial bench — Memorial Bench may be an option instead of a traditional headstone

Individual columbarium — Grave Site Columbarium

Description: Benches can be functional memorials that offer seating.
Pros:
- Benches can provide a place for visitors to rest and reflect
- Can be paired with traditional markers or the bench can actually be the marker
- A family or personal columbarium can offer a space for cremated remains on a plot that may have been bought earlier, or if you prefer a more private location to visit instead of the larger communal walls found in most columbariums.
Cons:
- High cost due to multiple pieces of stone that need to be assembled
- Require additional space and cemetery approval

Decision 2: Select the Material or Stone

The type of stone you choose for a grave marker affects not just its appearance, but also its durability, cost, and long-term maintenance. Here are the most common materials used in grave markers, along with popular color options and considerations.

Granite

Granite is by far the most popular material for modern grave markers due to its strength, availability, and wide range of color options. It resists weathering, holds engravings well, and comes in both polished and natural finishes.

Common Granite Colors:

Gray – A classic and budget-friendly choice. There are often a range of shades from light gray to almost black
Black – Elegant with strong contrast for inscriptions. Etchings look really nice on black granite if you think you want a picture or image on the stone.
Red or Pink – Warmer tones, slightly less common
Blue or Green – Unique but typically higher in cost

Note: Granite color names may vary by quarry and supplier. For example, “Dakota Mahogany” from one region might look similar to “Autumn Brown” from another. Always request a sample or photo when choosing.

Don't assume non-gray colors are more expensive. Some black granite can cost the same a gray granite.

Marble

Marble has a softer, more traditional look with its veined patterns, but it is more prone to erosion over time. Many cemeteries no longer recommend marble due to its lower durability, especially in harsh climates.

Typical Colors: White, gray, or blue-gray

Bronze (often paired with granite bases)

Flat bronze grave marker — Bronze is a beautiful option and it weathers well.

Bronze is used mainly for flat or lawn-level markers and is often chosen for its elegant, uniform appearance. It can develop a patina over time unless treated.

Bronze marker notes:

Usually mounted on a granite base (often gray or black)
Typically more expensive due to material and casting process

Decision 3: Select the shape, finish and lettering style

For the shape of the stone, you will want to consider that heart shapes and markers with cutouts will likely increase the price and may result in maintenance issues over time.

heart grave marker — Markers with sharp angled cuts can cause water to pool or drip allowing mold or algae to grow. Cleanings with a biologic cleaner can remove and prevent staining for extended periods of time.

Grave marker with cutout — Cutouts are a nice way to customize a head stone, but it also may increase price and cause staining if not using a polished finish.

Stone Finish Options

The stone finishes you choose for a grave marker significantly affects how it looks, how it weathers over time, and how easily it can be read. Each finish creates a different visual impact and requires different levels of maintenance. It is not uncommon to select multiple finishes with the front different from the back and the top different fro the sides. Martin Monument is a great resource if you want to dive deeper into stone and finish choices.

1. Polished Finish

upright grave marker with polished face — Polished stone is shiny and highly reflective in darker stones.

Description: High-gloss, reflective surface that highlights the stone's natural color and grain.
Pros:
- Elegant and formal appearance
- Very smooth and easy to clean
- Enhances inscription visibility (especially on black or dark granite)
Cons:
- Shows fingerprints, water spots, and debris more easily
- May appear too shiny or modern for some preferences

Polished top of grave stone — Polished head stone

2. Honed Finish

Description: Smooth but matte surface—non-reflective with a soft appearance.
Pros:
- More natural look than polished
- Subtle and dignified
- Easier to read inscriptions in direct sunlight
Cons:
- Slightly more porous than polished finishes
- May require more frequent cleaning to prevent staining

The honed finish can attract growth over time that may benefit from cleaning. Be careful to only used recommended solutions so you don't damage the stone paint

3. Rock-Pitched or Natural Finish

Natural Finish grave stone — Natural Finish option

Description: Rough, unpolished surface often used around the edges of a monument for a rustic or natural effect.
Pros:
- Earthy, traditional look
- Good contrast when paired with polished inscription panels
- Durable and low-maintenance
Cons:
- Not ideal for engraved text
- Can collect moss or debris over time

4. Steeled or Sanded Finish

Sandblasted finish
Description: Similar look to the natural finish, but more subtle in appearance. Created by sandblasting or brushing to give the stone a fine-grained, uniform texture.
Pros:
- Matte and even in appearance
- Provides a consistent backdrop for inscriptions
Cons:
- Less dramatic than polished or rock-pitched styles
- Can appear flat in photos or lower light
- Can discolor over time depending on stone properties
  
  Sanded Finish can allow biologic materials to grow and discolor stone over time.

Each finish option brings a different mood to the memorial. Some families choose a combination—such as a polished front with rock-pitched edges—for contrast and character.

Lettering Styles and Inscription Finishes

The lettering on a grave marker plays a major role in both the visual impact and the durability of the memorial. There are several styles of engraving and finish treatments to consider when selecting how the text and symbols will appear.

Lettering Styles

Standard (Sandblasted) Lettering
Standard Lettering
- Most common style, where letters are carved into the stone using high-pressure sandblasting.
- Clean, recessed look that works well on granite and is easy to read.
- Ideal for basic fonts and traditional layouts.
- Varied depths are possible
Raised (Polished) Lettering
Raised Letterin
- Background is sandblasted away, leaving the letters raised and polished to match the stone's surface.
- Provides a striking, bold contrast—especially on dark granite.
- Typically more expensive due to the additional labor.
Handcut or Hand-Etched Lettering
Handcut Letering
- Done manually by skilled artisans for a unique, customized result.
- Offers a timeless, personal feel and allows for intricate design work.
- Most costly and time-consuming option.

Lettering Finish Treatments

The lettering options below all look different on the different types of stone. I found a great resource from Milano Monuments in Cleveland, Ohio if you wan to dive deeper than this overview

Painted Lettering
Compliments of Martin Monuments
1. Lettering is filled with paint to enhance contrast, often in white, black, or gold.
2. Increases readability, especially on lighter-colored stone.
3. May fade or peel over time and require touch-ups.
Frosted Lettering
Frosted Lettering
1. Surface inside the letters is lightly textured to create a matte, frosted appearance.
2. Reduces glare and adds a soft, elegant effect.
3. Long-lasting and low maintenance.
Dusted Letters (Shadow or Skin-Blasted)
- Very shallow, soft-textured engraving often used for a subtle look.
- Works best on darker stones where high contrast isn't needed.
- Less durable than deeper carvings and may wear over decades.

💡 Pro Tip: Ask your monument vendor to show you photos or samples of each lettering style in different lighting conditions. What looks great in a catalog might be harder to read in real-world outdoor settings, especially as the stone ages.

How to find and select a grave marker provider

There are certainly reputable monument makers who offer shipping at a lower cost, but exercise caution. If the stone arrives damaged or gets damaged during installation, resolving the issue can be challenging due to the involvement of multiple parties in the transaction. It's advisable to ask the cemetery if they have had positive experiences with any non-traditional providers if you decide to find someone independently who may not have previously worked with your chosen cemetery.